So, here goes. Better late than never.

In just 2 months, coming up in January, it will have been 10 years since my husband of 13 1 /2 years was killed in a plane crash. I’ve never been one to let it “victimize” my life, but it definitely was a defining point in my life and something that changed it—and me—forever.

The first year of all the “firsts” were rough—you know, the first Valentine’s Day, the first Mother’s Day, the first Father’s Day, the first birthdays, the first wedding anniversary, the first day of school without Daddy taking the boys to school, the first of the boys’ birthdays where he wasn’t there, the first Thanksgiving, the first Christmas—the first everything. It was rough. I put on a happy face to the world and had to be strong. My pride wouldn’t allow otherwise. Besides, my Charismatic faith and upbringing had always looked on grief as a weakness. And since I was in the ministry and was a leader, it was especially required. So, I did it.

But, inside, I was broken, heartbroken, angry, and completely empty. That year was one full of utter and complete loneliness. Sure, people said they would be there for you; but for the most part, they weren’t. They all had their families to take care of. Maybe they thought it was too uncomfortable. Most people don’t know what to say to those who are going through a hard time. Those are the times when people either really show their ignorance and spout off some cliché; or they know that to say anything is just not sufficient enough, so they say nothing at all. Honestly, it probably wouldn’t have mattered if they had really looked in my eyes and saw the emptiness I was feeling. My pride would never have allowed them to get any further than, “Oh, I’m good. It’s hard, but I’m good. Getting stronger every day, Praise God!”

I was married to my husband and I was married to ministry. That was my whole life. I did nothing outside of that. My social life stemmed around the kids in our youth group and my husband and our boys. That was it. We had only moved to that city just six months before the plane crash and both my husband and I spent every minute getting to know the teenagers in our youth group, their parents, our incredible youth staff. There was no time to socialize with people in the church. There was no time to build relationships in the church. I didn’t even know many of the church staff’s last names or their wives names. It was a large church with a large church staff. So, we had our hands full by trying to remember everything and everyone. We threw ourselves 1000% into the youth ministry. That’s why we were there. We were hired on to be on “The Dream Team” as my husband called it. And, we had a pretty tough job to do. But, we knew God had designed for us to be there and we knew He had a plan.

But, six months and a week—exactly—that whole dream became a nightmare. All it took was one short phone call and the devil was on the other line.

The first year was rough, but what surprised me was how much harder it became each year was after that. It was ironic to me from the beginning that although I had been in ministry all of my adult life and loved being in church, it was now the most lonely place in the world to me. Sitting by myself. Looking around at all the couples and families. Watching them just “be” together. Seeing them interact with each other. It was something I felt was gone forever. Gone for me, gone for my boys. It was gut-wrenching, and sometimes I just had to get up and leave to find somewhere where I could be by myself to cry and try to muster the strength to face another happy and “whole” person. I say, “be by myself” because I was always “alone.” Even in a crowded room of people, in the most festive of times, I was alone.

The loneliness was nothing like anything I had ever felt before. I had no girlfriends. My one close friend, Ron, was my colleague. He was happily-married, so he made me feel safe. No ulterior motives, no bad intentions. I had a hard time trusting other men. But, actually, he was more like a brother to me. He, more than anyone, saw me at my darkest times. When I just couldn’t keep it together at my desk, where people were constantly coming and going, I could escape to his office and weep like there was no tomorrow. He never said a whole lot. Maybe that’s why it was good. He just let me cry and didn’t think less of me for it. Then, when I had cried all I needed to, he would say something completely stupid and we would both laugh. Then, I could then get myself together and go back to my desk.

I’ve written about it all in detail in my book, but, I decided to share some of this right now because I felt like it was timely. And, just maybe someone out there can understand where I’m coming from. And if it’s only one person, then it’s worth it just for that one person.

The holidays, by far, were the hardest time of the year for me. And when I say “the holidays,” what I really mean is from the time stores start advertising for Halloween. I don’t consider Halloween a “holiday,” but for me, it marked the beginning of the end. It marked the time where the holiday season officially began. Why? Because before Halloween’s even over, they’re advertising for Thanksgiving—at the same time, at which they begin advertising for Christmas. It’s everywhere. It’s at the grocery store. It’s at church. It’s at work. It’s on the storefronts when you drive anywhere. It’s at the mall. It’s on t.v. It’s everywhere! You can’t ignore it. You can’t escape it.

For me, I wished I could have just gone to sleep from the beginning of October and slept until mid-February. October – Halloween. November – Thanksgiving. December – Christmas. January – the anniversary of the plane crash and my birthday. February – Valentine’s Day. Ugh! I was so thankful for spring! At least I could relax until April, my youngest son’s birthday.

Three and a half years later, I remarried my husband, who has been the most beautiful gift in my life! I don’t deserve him and all that he gives and adds to my life. I am so incredibly thankful to God for him. Even still, that—okay, let me just call it what it is—that depression cloaked every area of my life. Even having the opportunity to love again and to be loved, the depression was all-consuming. My husband tried to be festive, but after the second year, he realized we just needed to keep things at a minimum. It was a, “Let’s just make it through these few days and get it over with.” I was worse than the Grinch. I was angry, and the root of bitterness had wrapped its tentacles around my soul and sucked the very life out of me. You see, I had moved on, but my soul was still broken and scarred. It wouldn’t allow me to be thankful at Thanksgiving.

I could go one for pages, but the main thing I wanted to share with you all is this. There are people around you that are hurting. Maybe they have lost a loved one this year—or even last year or before. Maybe they have gone through a divorce and are hurting. Maybe they have just lost hope all together. Maybe they feel like the walls are closing in on them and they are out of options. They won’t let you know they are hurting. Depression is a silent killer. It kills a person from the inside out. They won’t let you know how lonely they are. That would just feel too pathetic. They won’t tell you they are going to spend their Thanksgiving alone at home watching t.v. or playing video games—and if they do, it’s probably because they don’t want to be around other happy, “whole” people. Sometimes, that’s more painful than being alone at home. I urge you today. Please be mindful of them. Ask God to open your eyes and notice the small things. I don’t say that to be condescending, but I know that we can look at people every day, yet overlook their pain. Most of the time, we’re either too busy or we just don’t want to be made to feel uncomfortable. Believe me, they are more uncomfortable than you could ever be.

The holidays should be more about giving. So, give of yourself this holiday season. When you give of yourself, you give life to another.
So, here’s to being on the road to wholeness! Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been as whole as I am today. It doesn’t mean things in my life are perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. But, it does mean that pride isn’t camouflaging my life anymore. My life, it is what it is. It’s been good, it’s been bad, it’s been really good, and it’s been really bad. But, in the end, God is good. He is ALWAYS good! And, if we allow the Great Physician to do heart surgery on us, He will make us completely new again! I am proof. Sometimes I feel like I’m still in the recovery room, but I am proof.
Happy Thanksgiving, Friends and Family.

If that’s you, maybe you need to ask yourself a few questions like:

“Why am I working here?”

“What would I rather be doing for a living?”

“What’s keeping me from doing it?”

“Why do I hate what I do?”

“What got me to this job?”

The answers for each question will vary for each individual.

These questions, and others, are what I want to focus on in the next few days.

“Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.”

Proverbs 16:3 (NKJV)

I love this scripture verse, and I want to encourage you this morning as you start out your day. That word “thoughts,”  there, in the original Hebrew also means “purpose.”

So, in thinking about your job this morning, think about this:

Today, commit your work–your job, your business, what you do for a living–to the Lord, and your PURPOSE will be established (set, stable, and firm).

Today, work with purpose ON purpose.

When I first began blogging, I made a decision to try to keep it as real as possible. And, with my first blogging experience being about my weight and my journal of going through the HCG diet, it was both humbling and sometimes humiliating to share some of the things I thought and experienced during that time. But, I have to remind myself: it’s not about being perfect; it’s about being real. So, with that being said, I just wanted to share a little personal experience that taught me a lot. And, just maybe it’ll shine some light on the subject for you and make you see things with a little different perspective.

Are you game?

Okay. So, here’s what happened.

PART I

During the 4th of July weekend, practically every store in the U.S. has a huge 4th of July sale going on. So, this 4th of July weekend, my husband, Kent, and I went to a local nursery to see what great sales they had going on. (KB will tell you that even though I’m not your  normal woman shopaholic, there’s only one other thing that excites me more than finding cheap gas–and that’s finding a great sale! I know…it’s ridiculous!…the cheap gas part.)

So, we’re walking through the nursery looking at all the plants and thinking what we could buy to spruce up our backyard and add a little more color. Now, Kent will tell you…I by no means have a green thumb. In fact, it’s more the opposite. When it comes to plants, I have the black thumb. My boys tell me I have the kiss of death when it comes to anything with foliage or flowers. I kill plants. I don’t mean to. I just forget about them, and they dry to a withering state. And then, when I realize that they’re withering, I drown them for two days. And, then, I forget about them until the next time. So, plants just don’t live that long around me–unless my mom, who lives with us, takes care of them.

So, when I shop for plants or flowers, I always keep in the back of my mind that thought and consider the price when I buy them. Knowing that they have an 80% chance of dying, I always count the cost before I spend the money.  So, you ask, “Well, why buy them then?” Well, I guess it’s the pleasure I get out of them–even if that pleasure has an expiration date attached to it.

With that being said…

KB and I decided to divide and conquer, and we split up to see what sales we could find. He went one way, and I went the other.  After a few minutes, I noticed this gorgeous hanging plant. It was huge and so full! I had one like it hanging in our backyard already, but it had fallen with the wind several times. It, too had been very full, but was a victim of my neglect already and was on the brink of death.

But, this one! Oh, this one was even bigger and more full than the one I had bought weeks before! I just had to have it! So, I looked and looked to see what the price was, but I couldn’t find one. I figured it was probably going to be about $29-30 for that size, since it was so large.  I continued to look for the price tag, trying not to disturb the small leaves on it by moving it around so much, but I couldn’t find it.

Then, as I’m standing there inspecting my plant, this much older woman (probably in her late 60′s, early 70′s) came over to the plant with one of the young men who worked at the nursery. She, too was asking him how much it was. I thought to myself, “Surely she’s not talking about this plant?? This is the one I’m going to buy if I can ever get Kent’s attention to come and help me get it off the hook!” They seemed unmoved that I was also trying to find the price tag. In fact, they hardly even acknowledged I was there.  (I know I’m not that tall, but seriously!?)

So, finally, I spoke up and said, “Um,…I’m buying this plant. I’m just waiting for my husband to come over and take it off the hook for me. And, I also can’t find the price on it.”

When I told them that, the woman said, “Oh, okay. Well, I’m sorry.” (I have to say, I kind of felt a mini victory there, knowing someone was eyeballing my stuff! You know how we can be sometimes Besides, we’ve gotta protect our stuff, right?)

Well, after I marked my territory, I asked the guy (who she had gone to get) to take it off the hook for me. While he was taking it off the hook and handing it to me, the poor woman just looked so deflated! She asked the young man if they had any other ones as big and as full as that one. He looked around and said, “No, ma’am. I think that was the last of the big ones we had.” (In my mind, I’m secretly thinking, “Aw, sorry!” Then, I asked the young man if he could find out how much it was.

Like I said, I always count the cost before I buy a plant. So, I told the woman,“It’s probably going to be around $29. or $30. And, if it’s that much, I’ll probably just pass on it, and you can have it.” So, she continued shopping nearby, staying close to me to see what price the young man came back with. Within just a couple of minutes, the young man came back and said, “Ma’am, it’s on sale for $14.00.” I was like, “$14.00!!!! Are you serious!? Woo hoo!!!!” doing amy little “happy” dance. Simultaneously, the woman let out this gasping sigh. (Lord, forgive me for laughing out loud right now as I’m writing this! You just had to have been there!) Not only was it NOT $30, it was $14!!! If you thought she was deflated before, now she was down right destroyed! Any chance of me giving her that plant just went out the window–and she knew it! I’m telling you, you would’ve thought I just ran over her pet  poodle! She started rambling about how beautiful it was and how she wished she could find another one there like that…and on and on…and on.

Then, like in an open vision, I saw this plant I was holding, hanging in my back yard looking just like the other one. Dried up, undernourished, and in survival mode. Then, I saw the plant I was holding, hanging in her back yard, thriving among all of her other roses and other beautiful, luscious plants.

As great of a deal as it was and as happy as I was to have “won” that little 4th of July sale war, I knew I could do only one thing… Yep, I had to give it to her. Besides, I was probably only going to kill it anyways. So, I turned around and said, “Ma’am, if you still want this plant, you can have it.” (Well, of course she wanted it. That was a stupid thing to say! She was still standing there wounded and wimpering, as she watched me walk away with it in my hands, for crying out loud!)

You would’ve thought she just won the Texas lottery! She got so excited and thanked me over and over. I was expecting her to lean over and hug and kiss me at any moment. Then, as I’m putting it in her basket, she started asking me, “Are you sure? Are you sure? It’s so beautiful!” I thought to myself, “Lady, if you ask me, ‘Are you sure,’ one more time, I’m liable to change my mind and keep it!” Because quite honestly, I wasn’t sure. I wanted that plant! BUT, she obviously REALLY wanted that plant. She continued to thank me profusely and kept saying what a wonderful, young person I was to have let her have it instead. (Yeah, that “younger person” part made me smile, too.)

So, there you go. She was elated, and I had just done my random act of kindness for the day. I have to say, it felt pretty good, too. I gave myself a little pat on the back and was off to find KB near the sweet potato vines.

We didn’t find anything ELSE we couldn’t live without, so we left the nursery empty-handed.

But that’s not the end!

PART II

So, as we’re walking to the car, I told Kent what had happened with the older woman.

With a hint of self-gloating and a little bounce in my step, I boastfully said, “Yep! Baby, did you see how I gave that plant to that woman? I just did a random act of kindness!”

Calmly he said, “Yep, I sure did…and you should have! It was hers to begin with.”

“What?! Hers?! No it wasn’t! I saw it first and then she came up with that guy and…”

“Nope,” he interrupted me and said. “I watched the whole thing go down, and she was looking at it long before you ever walked up to it. She had gone to get that young guy to help her find the price tag on it. While she had gone to get him, you had walked up to it and claimed it.”

UGH! The audacity! I was incensed! …for about a minute…or less.

“Really? She was there first?”

“Yes, Baby, she was.”

Wow,. . .okay. Now, I just felt really stupid! There I was having some kind of dog-marking-her-territory/”Hey, look, everybody! I just did a random act of kindness” moment–when the truth of the matter is, I was completely in the wrong–and she never said a word otherwise.

(Man, leave it up to Kent to show me the error of my ways. At least he let me down easy, right?  NOT!)

With one swift kick to the rear of my pride, I just got knocked off my high horse in seconds! And, it didn’t feel very good either!

PART III

So, then Thursday, I was taking a swim in our pool. It was hot, and I just needed to cool off some. As I was floating around the pool on my pool noodles, looking at the yard and all the plants, my eye caught that plant hanging under the porch.

Yes, that once-beautifully-full plant (just like the one I almost “stole” from that woman at the nursery!). I got to laughing so hard, I started to embarrass myself! After all, what would the neighbors think if they looked down off their balcony and saw that I was out there all by myself piddling around in the pool and laughing for no apparent reason? I’m sure they would’ve wondered if I was going to start trying to snatch flies out of the air next and eat ‘em next!

I got to thinking about that whole scenario, and I just got so tickled. Then, I had this little revelation.

Random acts of kindness do more for us and for our ego, than they do for others.

Remember a few years ago, when the whole “random acts of kindness” craze started, and you heard people talking about it all over the place? I think maybe even Oprah may have started it. If she didn’t start it, she sure made it bigger than life–just as she does everything! Of course, I think she’s an amazing woman, and certainly we do need to help others, but that’s not my point here.

As Christians, we should always strive to help people and show kindness and the love of God to others by what we do. That goes without saying. If you think about it, doing a random act of kindness does a good job of feeding our flesh. It feeds our pride and gives us that little, “I just did a good thing” warm and fuzzy feeling inside.

But, Jesus calls us to an even higher standard. This is what He said:

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,”

Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)

Yeah, that’s like one massive sucker punch to the gut! “Giving” that plant to that woman at the nursery? That was easy! That was a piece of cake! Doing that just inflated my pride and made me feel good about myself–until I found out the truth, that is.

But, to do something good and nice for someone who has betrayed me? Lied about me? Stole from me? Talked about me behind my back? Spread rumors about me? Treated me badly? Well, THAT is no easy feat–not to mention it’s enough to make one a little nauseated!Instead of feeding my flesh, that would nail my pride to the cross and hit me square between the eyes! That would be excruciating, painful!

We have to love our enemies. (Notice it doesn’t say if you’re a Christian you won’t have any!)

We have to bless those who curse us. (That means we have to speak good things, not curse them.)

We have to do good to those who hate us. (…not just to those who are less fortunate than we are…or are sweet old women)

We have to pray for those who spitefully use us. (And, that doesn’t mean pray that they get theirs! Or, pray that God opens up the ground and swallows them up!)

I know. It’s tough. Yet, that’s what Jesus asks us to do.

And THAT, my friend, is what it means to be a true Believer and a doer of the Word.

Ha! And, people think Christians are wimps! If you’re a Christian and you think it’s all just a cool walk in the park, you probably haven’t taken a real hard look at yourself in the mirror lately. (Or, you don’t have people around you who love you enough to tell you the truth.) Because, when you do–IF you do–the Holy Spirit will always shine a light on those ugly things in your life that you need to fix. At least, that’s always how He does me.

It was a short, but painful lesson for me.

It’s just a thought…on the flip side of random acts of kindness.

It doesn’t matter how much money I make at any given time in my life, I will always work in my yard. After hours and hours of staring at my computer screens, playing in the dirt is a welcomed hobby.

Today, my 17 year-old son, Leroy, and I worked on a fenced in area of our yard. It’s that “hidden” place, a fence within the fence, which houses our pool pump and all the controls for the pool and hot tub. Our back yard is our little sanctuary from the world. It’s not big, but it is calm, serene, and the running water of the pool is always soothing to my frenzied mind. I love to just sit outside and read, work, eat, think–or whatever. To me, it’s my little piece of paradise.

But then,…there’s this fence. I can’t see what’s behind it; and to be honest, I rarely think about what’s behind it. That fence serves its purpose–to hide that unsightly pool equipment. But, then, because I can’t see what’s behind it, I also never go in there…until…

The other day, I was sitting out enjoying my little piece of paradise when I noticed this plant that was sticking up above the fence line–way above the fence line! I thought to myself, “Hmph…,” and went to check it out. I stepped on this bench we have up against the fence and what I saw disgusted me! That weed sticking up was one of hundreds that had overtaken that small, enclosed area behind the fence. On one side “paradise;” and on the other, an entirely different world with every kind of creepy thing living in there.

We had some stones left over from the small stone wall my husband and I built for one of the flowerbeds. After our DIY project was completed, we didn’t know what to do with them; so we just stuck them back behind the fence–hidden and out of sight.

Now, after a couple of years, these rocks had sunk into the dirt.  Some, all the way and some halfway in the dirt. Others were entangled in all the other overgrown grass and weeds. But, before Leroy and I could pull all the grass and weeds and clear the area, we had to first remove the stones. I warned Leroy to watch out for snakes, rats, and wasps–and any other creature that was living in there. One by one, as we cautiously picked up the stones out of the ground, hundreds of creepy crawlers, worms, bugs–known and unknown, big, small, teenie-weenie–and grasshoppers went everywhere!

(Sidenote: Okay, aside from roaches and crickets, I just realized that I hate grasshoppers almost as much!!! Can you imagine living in the Old Testament days when Egypt was infested with grasshoppers!? The thought makes me cringe! They’re disgusting! Like crickets, you never know where they’re going to jump, so you can’t anticipate where they are going to land. Usually, wherever you go, they jump to that exact spot, usually landing on you–or, at least, they do me!)

Leroy says, “Mom, we have our own ecosystem here!” We just laughed. My first thought was, “Ugh! You are right!”

But then, I began to think about a couple of things.

1. UGLINESS…OUT OF SIGHT…OUT OF MIND.

It was hard for me to believe that just on the other side of that fence, was my little paradise. And, this?  Well, this was the hidden, unsightly, unkept, neglected area of our yard that no guests ever saw when they came to our house–unless, of course, they were nosey enough to look behind the fence! LOL But, to us, it was out of sight, out of mind. Once in a while, we would think about how bad it was, but then we would just not feel like doing what it took to get it cleaned up and make it functional; so it remained the same.  That is, of course, until it became so obvious–as it did when it came belligerently poking its ugly head up from the fence line.

Sometimes in our business, our ministry, or our personal life, to the rest of the world, everything might seem to be perfect! Everything’s in place. Beautiful to the eyes, calm, kept, in order. Yet, we have to ask ourselves, “Is there anything in my life that’s not so beautiful to the eyes, calm, kept, and in order? Is there anything that is really ugly and overtaking a part of our life, our ministry, or our business that no one can see, but it is the perfect nesting ground for snakes, bugs, and infestations of unwanted creatures?” (so to speak).

Sometimes we don’t build walls around ugliness so others can’t see it, as much as we build them so we don’t have to see it.  Why do we do that? Let’s think about that for a minute. Maybe it’s because every time we have to look at,…

(1)  It reminds us how we have failed in that particular area. Take, for example, the person who never wants to answer their phone because they know the chances of it being a bill collector on the other end of the line is about a 75% chance. They don’t open their mail because it’s just a reminder of the mounds of unpaid debts they have and the lack of money they have to pay them. Hope of getting out of debt is waning–if not gone, all together. As Christians, it can be even more of a feeling of failure, since we are to walk with the utmost integrity, of which paying our bills is high on the food chain.

Another example is someone who has been in ministry before or served in a church. Then, for whatever reason, they leave the church or the ministry. They might have been hurt, might have gone through a bad situation, or just got burned out. Whatever the reason, some–not all, but some–leave with resentment and if–and that’s a BIG “if”–they go to church again, they’re going to find the nearest mega-church so they can hide out there. They think, “I don’t have to do anything. No one’s going to ask me to serve. No ones knows what my gifts are. No one knows what I can do–and no one’s going to know either! I don’t have to give if I don’t want to. I can just go to church and do nothing!” Fortunately, these mega-churches reap the rewards of upping–what I call–their “ABIS count” (Actual Butts in Seats). But, sadly, many times, they become graveyards for ministers or servant leaders who’ve gone M.I.A. They’ve gone there for one purpose:  to hide.

Tired of living under the microscope, they settle for living under the radar.

(2)  It reminds us of the never-ending process! Work! Work! Work! There’s always so much to be done work we need to do. Always something that has to be fixed. Always something that has to be cleaned and put in order. It’s an endless and daunting task. Looking at everything that has to be done can be a bit overwhelming! So, we procrastinate as much and as long as we can.

And lastly,…

(3)  We just don’t want to deal with it. Period. Can’t deal with it. Don’t want to deal with it. Refuse to deal with it.  No reading between the lines there. Just don’t wanna…!

Whatever reasons we have for living our lives with certain things hidden away, doesn’t change the fact that they are still there. And, if left unkept and uncared for, they will continue to grow to an unmanageable condition and will inevitably take on a whole nature of their own.

2.  YOU’VE GOT TO TURN THE STONES OVER!

What lies beneath? Well, you’ll never know unless you turn that stone over! Sometimes it’s nasty. At first glance, it might make us take a few leaps backwards in disgust. But, when that dark breeding ground for bugs and creepy crawlers is exposed, they scatter like maggots on a dead rat. (Oh, yes, and we found that, too.) But, in order to get rid of what lies beneath, sometimes we have to turn things over and shake things up a bit.

Both in business and in my ministry, I constantly shake things up. Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean I live in constant chaos. It just means that I’m always working on things, changing them around, changing them up. Things that are left sitting still for too long have a tendency of becoming hard, stuck, not flexible or easily movable. Just like those stones, they quickly become entangled by grass and weeds that have overgrown around them. So, we have to turn things over, inspect what’s underneath them. Ideas that started good can become stagnant when left idle too long. They, too must be shaken up a bit. People left in the same position, doing the same thing often lose their motivation and passion and get complacent.  Difficult situations not dealt with can become even more difficult to deal with. Even things that are going good, need to constantly need to be analyzed to see how they can be better. We have to remember that if we, as an individual or a business or a ministry, are growing and improving, then there is always room to improve what we did and what we thought yesterday, last week, or last year. Often, ideas I had years ago, I have spent years working on them. Tweaking them. Changing them up. Figuring out different strategies, different ways of being more relevant and effective. It never fails, just when I finally think that it’s perfect and it’s going to work great, I realize there’s a better way to do it.

But, that’s just part of the process.

If you are growing, then so will your ideas and your thinking.

3. BUGS…EVERYBODY’S GOT ‘EM!

It doesn’t matter if you live in a mansion on top of the hillside or a hut deep in the woods, there are bugs and creepy crawlers all around. The objective is to not allow them to overrun and infest your living quarters.  I’m no ecological scientist, but even I know that having certain worms in your garden is a good thing.

Back in 1994, my husband and I went to Israel. One of the places, among many, we got to visit was the Dead Sea. Do you know why they call it the Dead Sea? Because nothing can live in it! Biologically, it’s dead. No fish, no bugs, no nothing! (Hopefully, we won’t be saying the same thing about our U.S. gulf coast region…thanks to BP, of course.) Oh, yes… Back to the Dead Sea. There is nothing that can live in that water, because it’s made of high concentrated salt water. (It’s other name is the Salt Sea.)  In fact, it’s so rich in salt, your body is completely buoyant and floats very easily on it. It’s a little scientific, natural phenomenon.

Interestingly enough, over the years, the Dead Sea waters have evaporated so much and have caused the Dead Sea to actually become two separate bodies of water with a passage of land between them. The same is true of dirt that is between both bodies of water. The dirt is considered “dead.” Nothing can live in it. Nothing can grow in it.

But, the better and richer soil you have, the more biological life exists in your dirt. Even though they might seem nasty, they do serve their purpose if kept in the right place.

For someone to say they have no “bugs” in their business, their ministry, their personal lives, is just to be either (1) a liar, (2) in complete denial, or (3) completely naive! Everybody’s got bugs. Some are hidden in those walls and fences we built to hide the ugliness or some are under rocks that we haven’t wanted to move or mess with in a long time.

Sufficed to say, we are not perfect. There is no perfect home, no perfect business, no perfect church or ministry. There’s only people who dare to roll up their sleeves, get dirt on their hands, and do what it takes to restore order, improve what belongs to us, and clean up what needs to be cleaned up.

So, my goal is to take that unkept, overgrown, and overrun fenced-in area and turn it into a viable, productive area.

And, that, Friend, is the easy part! Now, I have to commit the same to every other area of my life, business, and ministry. And, that…will take a lifetime to do! But the rewards will be well worth the endeavor.

Yep! I fell off the wagon…just a little bit.  I know… That’s never a good thing.  I’ve lost track of the days here, so I’m going to have to go back and figure out when I started and what day I’m really on. Life and work has pretty much consumed my life the past week and a half. It’s been a bit crazy, but…

Mother’s Day, when I got dressed for church, I was actually able to wear this dress suit, which I had not been able to wear for SEVERAL years now–correctly. For the past few years, I had to leave the skirt unzipped about 2 inches and the fold in the part that I didn’t zip up. And, the jacket, I was actually able to button it–and have room!!! I was just amazed!!!  What a happy, happy day! It felt great!!!   BUT, afterwards, Kent took me, my mom, and the boys to Charleston’s for our Mother’s Day lunch. HE ordered me a baked potato–since it was Mother’s Day. I couldn’t believe he was doing that! He’s always been one to bring me back to focusing on my weight loss goal. (And, it’s been helpful, too!)  I always eat my baked potatoes plain with nothing on them, but they are still a “no, no” on the HCG Protocol. But, I figured, “Hey, it’s Mother’s Day and I feel great!!” So, I went ahead and let him order it. Well, I wasn’t able to actually even eat the whole potato. I only ate half of it. It was actually too much. Besides, I had already practically filled up on their salsa–it is amazing!!! So, dinner was over, and I thought I’d just go right back to my HCG diet.

Wrong.

You know what? It’s REALLY hard to stay focused once you break that determination. It’s crazy!! So, I dipped here and there and fudged a little bit–and gained 2 lbs. two days after that. It was REALLY, REALLY frustrating, but I know it’s because I just wasn’t holding myself accountable to my scale, my blog, or my desires.

I did finally get them off again, but I seem to be stuck at 111 lbs.  I can’t seem to break that. Of course, I know that if I would just do the Protocol like I know I need to, I can wipe out these last 10 lbs. easy. I SHOULD have already lost them all and been at my number, but I’ve not focused enough on it; and I just got lazy. Of course, working like a crazy woman hasn’t helped that at all either.

Then, yesterday, I took the last of m HCG drops–and didn’t order a new supply soon enough! I was so frustrated! I didn’t want to skip a day, so I called Tina to find out if I could find them locally. I did find them at a health food shop. Tina told me to make sure I asked them for the HCG Weight Off drops. I guess there is a difference in HCG. (Speaking of, did you see that pro football player who got suspended for a few games for testing positive for HCG!? Wow, that was wild! Obviously, that’s not the kind of HCG that we are using. I’m sure he’s not wanting to lose weight.)

Anyways,…so I pull up to this health food store. Honestly, I felt like a duck out of water. I pulled into my parking spot and noticed I was parked right smack dab in between 2 Prius-es (not sure how to make that plural). Then beside those, was parked another eco-friendly vehicle. (I guess the only thing that would have made me feel more out of place would have been to pull up in an extra-large, gas guzzling SUV).

I went in–and, no, I didn’t go and look around. What for? I have no idea what anything in there is anyways? It’s like walking into a store in a foreign country, not being able to understand any of the labels.  The only thing I know about health food stores is that they always smell funny, and they are ALWAYS expensive!

And, this one didn’t disappoint OR prove me wrong! LOL

Their cost for the HCG drops was $49. for a 2-fl. oz. bottle!!! I was like, “What!? Really? Ugh.” After all, I order mine for only $30 + $5 shipping. But, stupid me… I didn’t order them soon enough. So, I was forced into paying more for them. The bottle is a little bigger (with my bottle being 1 fl. oz., but it sure seemed like the amount of HCG in the bottle looked the same. (But, at first, I thought, “Yeah, I guess they use the same strategy as potato chip makers. You know, it’s a big, plumb bag…until you open it. Then, you realize the bag is only 1/3 of the way full and it was mostly a lot of air.”)

But, the lady said a couple of things that I thought were interesting. After explaining to her the predicament I was in, I asked her if it would be okay for me to switch the drops I was using mid-stream.  She said, “Yes, that’s fine. In fact, it’ll  probably help you.” (Well, of course she would say that! She wants to make the sale–obviously!) But, she said that these HCG drops had a couple of ingredients that aided in the weight loss. Well, that certainly peaked my curiosity.  She said they were enhanced with carnitine, which she said is to break down the fatty acids.

Now, I don’t know about all that stuff. Maybe someone reading this will know and be able to enlighten us all.  Anyways, I thought I would post the ingredients that are in my normal HCG drops as compared to what are in these new HCG drops I just purchased:

INGREDIENTS IN MY REGULAR HOMEOPATHIC HCG DETOX DROPS:

Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) 6x, 12x, 30x, 60x. – Contains 16% USP Alcohol.

INGREDIENTS IN MY NEWLY-PURCHASED HOMEOPATHIC HCG WEIGHT OFF PLUS DROPS:

Arginine 3x, 12x, 30x.

Carnitine 3x, 12x, 30x.  (or like I said before “Camitine”–which I found both online as health food supplements)

Ornithine 3x, 12x, 30x.

Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (HCG) 6x, 12x, 30x, 60x. – Contains 20% USP Alcohol.

Now, I don’t know what all those numbers and x-s are after those ingredients, but here’s what I found out about those extra ingredients: (Hold on to your hairpiece and secure your girdle! Some of this is gonna blow you away!)

ORTHININE – “Ornithine is important since it induce the release of growth hormone in the body, which in turn helps with fat metabolism. It is further required for a properly functioning immune system and liver and assists in ammonia detoxification and liver rejuvenation.” It also said that it was best used with: “Arginine is needed for the production of ornithine and should be supplied in adequate quantities to the body. Carnitine also enhances the effect of this nutrient.” (source:  http://www.anyvitamins.com/ornithine-info.htm)

ARGININE – I looked this ingredient up, but I sure didn’t like what I found on this website:   http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/herbsvitaminsad/a/Arginine.htm    Of course, it was for L-arginine, not arginine…but I truly don’t know what the difference is–if there is any.

I don’t want to put everything they said here. You can go check it out for yourself.  It’s kind of scary though!

Wikipedia says this about it: “Arginine may boost the production of growth hormone^[18], although this has not been proven.^{[citation needed]”} (Source:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine)

Okay, I didn’t want to put this, but Wikipedia also says this about arginine, just like the other website did. It’s just flat out scary!

Here’s a couple of scary side-effects of L-arginine…  The heading reads: “Possible increased risk of death after supplementation following heart attack” - Um,…that can’t be good!  It continues to say: “A clinical trial found that patients taking an L-arginine supplement following a heart attack didn’t improve in their vascular tone or their hearts’ ability to pump. In fact, six patients who were taking L-arginine died than those taking a placebo and the study was stopped early with the recommendation the supplement not be used by heart attack patients.^[14][15][16] The supplement is still widely marketed. … The Mayo Clinic web page on L-arginine reports that inhalation of L-arginine can increase lung inflammation and worsen asthma.^[17]”

(Source:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arginine)

CARNITINE – Okay, boys and girls, this is just gone from scary to a little humorous.  This is what Wikipedia says about carnitine:  “‘Although L-carnitine has been marketed as a weight-loss supplement, there is no scientific evidence to date to show that it improves weight loss, however some studies show that oral carnitine reduces fat mass, increases muscle mass, and reduces fatigue. All of these effects may contribute to weight loss.’” ^{[18] …} Other sources may be found in over-the-counter vitamins, energy drinks and various other products. Products containing L-carnitine cannot be marketed as “natural health products” in Canada. L-Carnitine products and supplements are not allowed to be imported into Canada (Health Canada).^[23]

(Source:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnitine)

Okay, SERIOUSLY!? Canada won’t even let anything with this synthesized ingredient into their country; and yet, here in the States, we can’t get enough of it??? Really??

Okay, well, this is definitely not making me feel very good about these new drops I have purchased.  So, if you are on HCG drops and are not taking pure HCG, you might want to discontinue them if you have heart problems, have had  a heart attack, or have asthma. Or, AT LEAST go see your doctor! I mean, stopping a clinical trial after 6 patients have died IS NOT exactly what I would deem as “early.” Maybe it’s just me!? I don’t know.  I mean,…yes, you–we–do want to be thinner; but if you die, DOES IT REALLY MATTER???  Maybe I’m just making a mountain out of a molehill. I don’t know anything about supplements. I only know enough to make me dangerous.

You know, the bottom line is with anything concerning supplements, is that everything we need to be healthy is in the food that God gave us. (Notice, I didn’t say “the food that “we” made. Big difference. Huge difference.) That’s how God intended for us to get everything we needed to live long, healthy lives.

And, I know I am sounding really hypocritical right now–sucking down my Splenda-sweetened tea and taking my HCG drops–but with all the synthetic ingredients we put into our bodies, it’s no wonder we’re all jacked up! Honestly, the whole healthy-eating scene is REALLY confusing for me. There is so much information out there–and everybody thinks they are “right.” I guess we all have to do what the Bible says here and “work out our own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12) And, yes, that is taken out of context, but the same principle remains relevant. We all have to decide what we will eat, what we put into our bodies, and what we do to our bodies, etc. I guess that’s where wisdom, self-control, discipline,…and a whole lot of faith…come in!

It’s a tough call. But, in the short and long run, it is OURS to make.

Wow, got on the scale this morning and weighed 110!! Woo hoo!! That’s a great thing to wake up to–even if you didn’t get much sleep the night OR the night before!

I’ve missed a couple of days posting on my HCG Diet Journey, but it hasn’t been without reason. The past few days have been quite interesting, actually. Little to no sleep…but the train has to keep movin’!

Yesterday was the first day I actually got shaky and felt like my blood sugar had dropped. I was really tired–REALLY tired.

Our two oldest boys have been really having fits with allergies, so finally, Monday, I decided to take them to the doctor to get some Allegra-D. (When I have allergies, that seems to be the only thing that seems to help me–and I’ve tried everything else over the counter with them.) So, I took them right after school. After the doctor finished listening to all of their issues, he looked in their throats. Then he says, “Well, I can see that they’re definitely having serious allergy issues, but I’d also like to take some blood and check them for mono. It’s really going around a lot right now here. And they have all the symptoms: red, swollen throats, extremely tired with no energy, and lathargic, their lymph nodes are swollen.” I thought, “Great! That about describes what I have felt like for the past week!”

So, Tuesday afternoon, I get a call from the doctor’s office and they confirmed that BOTH of them tested positive for mono!! “GREAT!!!!” I thought. And then she added, “And they have to have a sonogram immediately to check their spleen.” “Oh, ok.” “Then she says, “And they can’t do any sports, physical activity, or anything strenuous for 6 weeks.” I thought,”Great! With boys?!?!”

So, I picked up my cell phone to call my 16 yr-old to tell him that he needed to come home since he couldn’t be out there longboarding. (For those of you who are not sure what that is, it’s like a really big skateboard.) He says, “Mom, I’m going to have to come home anyways. I think I broke my arm.”

“Swell!! That’s just peachy!” So, he comes home, and his elbow is as swollen as can be. He wasn’t in tears or bleeding or anything, so we put some ice on it and he went to lie down, until I could finish what I was working on. And no, I didn’t neglect him. They wouldn’t have been able to x-ray it anyways until the swelling had gone down some. So, we gave the ice a chance to do its thing while he rested in the comfort of our own home…not the hospital e.r. waiting room.

So, we get to the e.r., and I made him put on a mask. (Yep! He sure loved me for that! But, my Growing Kid’s God’s Way training says to “value the preciousness of others.” And in this case, it was valuing others enough to NOT want them to get sick, since he was very contagious–and they had to get very close to him. One of his nurses thanked him for wearing it because she has a 2 year-old at home. I think when she told him that, he understood and didn’t fight me on it from then on.

Before the doctor came back with the results of the x-rays, in came a nurse with a splint rack. We figured that couldn’t a good sign. Sure enough…the elbow was fractured. Not badly, but enough to cause him a lot of pain.

Didn’t get a whole lot of sleep that night…or the next…or the next…or any night this week, actually. I nibbled on things I shouldn’t have (*sigh*), but a big part of me said, “Well, you deserved it! You’ve had a rough week!!” Yeah, that’s JUST the thinking I need to rid my brain of…for sure!!! I need to learn to reward myself with a good book or a massage or a manicure (if I liked them, of course)…anything except food. That’s NOT a healthy way of rewarding myself.

Ready to pick back up and tackle this blog…and my weight. Sorry for the delay!

Wow!!! I weighed in this morning at 111 lbs! I dropped 2 pounds since yesterday!!! WOOO!!!!

I truly think the difference is that time I spent in the sauna and the troughs of water I’ve been drinking while in there!! And, the constipation is gone…finally!! I guess I should really be a better follower of instructions, right?!

Starting to feel my ribs again…thank the Lord!

Not quite ready to pull out the tubbies with the “skinny clothes” in them.  I’ll get there, though.

I’m SOOOO thankful for Splenda! It’s ridiculous! But, it sure helps to take the edge of the “no sugar” on the Protocol.

I decided I am going to continue through to the full 42 days on the HCG Protocol. I REALLY want to do this! But, I know it’s going to take a little more work–and time.

Well, I’m back on the weight-loss train again…and back to losing again. THANK GOD! Back down to 113 lb. flat. My goal is to be to 110 lb. by Friday. Being the average daily rate of 1 lb. per day, I don’t think that’s too far out of my reach if I can keep my brain in gear!

My friend, the fitness trainer, is doing phenomenally well. I am so proud of her! She posted on her FB that she had lost 7 lbs. in just 6 days! Not too shabby, folks! That’s awesome! And, you can believe, she is completely stoked about it! She said she was wanting to get another tattoo, and I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she decided to tattoo HCG on her arm!! LOL  Okay,…maybe not.  (That would be funny, though, right?)

I have been MAKING myself drink a lot of water.  Going to the sauna has sure helped, too. I drank an entire 44 oz.–or maybe it was 64 oz.??–container of water while I was in there in only 20 minutes. For some of you, that might be no big deal. But, for me!…that was huge! And, it actually wasn’t a chore to drink it because it was so hot in there.

I saw today that my blog got pinged from another HCG related blog regarding the results in using homeopathic HCG drops. The blog talked about if the homeopathic drops really worked or not. Well, I need to go and read that. I’m curious what they have to say about it. However, I can tell you that the HCG drops I use are homeopathic, not medical grade. First of all, for me, it makes me feel better since the thought of putting actual human growth hormones in my body is a little freaky. The fact that these are made from plants and natural substances, makes me feel better. And, I can tell you for sure–100%–they work! I have been trying to break the 120 lb. barrier for five years now…to no avail! It didn’t matter if I starved myself or fasted (for non-diet reasons), I still never dropped below that. Then, ever since I started taking the HCG drops, like magic, the pounds started going down. It was a FABULOUS feeling!

The great thing is before–years before–when I would lose weight, I would always lose it in my bustline.  Yep! Those puppies were always the first to go!!!  Second, I lost it in my face…and had people saying, “Wow, you’ve really lost a lot of weight. Your face looks too long and skinny.” (Man, you can’t win for losin’! Seriously!?) But, even though my bra size went down and my face got thin and gaunt, I still had these unwanted problem areas. You know what I’m talking about:  the thighs that so irritatingly rubbed together when you walk, those dreadful cankles, the grandma flabby arms, the unwanted butimus-maximus (at least that’s what my hubby calls it),  and definitely that dyslexic hour-glass figure.

BUT!!!!!!  Here’s the great news I have noticed in just these short 17 days. When I have lost the pounds, I can physically tell a noticeable difference where I have lost the weight–and it’s been from all over. Actually, the first place I even saw the difference was in my legs, my thighs. Next, was in my bustline and in my rear.

Now, all of a sudden, I can see that those tubbies in my closet with all my “skinny clothes” in them are going to be pulled out and used again–and I am STOKED!!! I’m already getting rid of those size 6s I had to buy because I couldn’t fit into my size 0, 2, or 4.

You see, I did the cardinal sin and completely did what my mom told me not to ever do. She would ALWAYS tell me, “NEVER, EVER, EVER go buy clothes in a bigger size because you can’t fit into the ones you have.” She said, “When your clothes start feeling tight on you, they’re going to be uncomfortable to wear. And, it’s not until you get so uncomfortable and bothered by them that you do something about it! But, if you just go and buy the next size up, you’re just going to grow into them, too…and be left in the same scenario.” That was her key to maintaining your figure, which up until she got breast cancer and had to start taking a lot of medicine and went through chemo and radiation, it had definitely worked for her. (Many types of medicines are known to add weight gain, but those are things that are out of your control.) But, as for her advice, I should’ve listened! I followed her advice all throughout the years, even in having my two babies and afterwards–and it worked. I always got back down to my regular size fairly quickly. I sure didn’t have the same-shaped figure; but in pounds, I got back to where I needed to be.

So, since spring time is among us, let me just encourage you that when you pack up your winter clothes for the year and get your new spring and summer clothes out, DO NOT GO SHOPPING FOR BIGGER-SIZED CLOTHES.  Find out more about the HCG Protocol FIRST. You owe it to yourself! Believe me! I am seeing fabulous results, as others have, too. My only regret is that I didn’t find out about it years ago!

I know that when I finally get achieve MPN (My Personal Number)…my feel-good weight…I will not let myself go back to that again.

I forgot to write about this one incident the other night. Kent and I went to watch the Dallas Mavericks/Spurs game at a restaurant in Grapevine, TX. We go there often, and I always order the same thing every single time. I’ve never deviated. Actually, it’s the ONLY thing I can eat there:  2 grilled chicken breasts, a baked potato (dry), and a salad…and the bread, of course,…and a Coke.  Kent would always want to split it with me, and I would be like, “Uh! I don’t think so! I’m hungry! You get your own!!!” Well, this time was no different. I ordered the same thing:  grilled chicken bread with a plate of lettuce only–minus the baked potato, the bread, and the Coke. And, instead of the Coke, I ordered soda water instead (and put lemon juice in it). He actually wanted something different this time, so he didn’t ask me to split it with him.

When our waitress brought out our food, I about fell over! The chicken breasts were flanked open, which each side looked like it was the 4 oz. size of chicken I am allowed to have on the Protocol.  So, before I salted anything, I cut my 4 oz. side of chicken off and put the other breast and a half on another plate. When I finished my chicken and lettuce, I was full.

Then, I looked at that plate with the chicken I didn’t eat on it, and I could not believe how much meat I had left!!!!  I asked Kent, “Baby, is there always that much chicken?!” He grinned and said, “Yep!” I said, “Wow! I usually eat it all, too, don’t I?!” He agreed…and then had to add, “Yep!…and the baked potato…and the bread…and the Coke!” (Yeah, thanks! Like I needed to be reminded what a hog I was! Thanks, Baby! Appreciate it! Love you!!!) I was stunned. Then, I thought to myself, “Well, it’s no doubt that I have gained 20 lbs. over the last 5 years eating like that!!” (Oh, and of course in all honestly, I have to mention the large Sonic Coke we would normally buy on the way home to drink with our pretzels that I had in the car for the ride home!  Then, when we got home, if we were going to watch a movie or tv, I had to have some munchies, so I would snack on anything from pretzels and pico, lemons, dry cereal, or sunflower seeds. )  And the truth is, even if I was full to the brim, I would munch on food anyways, just because. …Just because I had to keep busy during the movie… Just because it was what I did when I watched a movie… Just because… Just because….

So, yes, the eating habits I am developing during this HCG Protocol have to remain in my life if I want to keep all those pounds from coming back. And, again, I’m not talking about the 500 calories a day. I know that is probably  not a good thing to continue. I’m talking about:

• the excessive snacking.
• eating when I’m bored.
• eating to stay awake.
• eating when I get nervous or antsy.
• eating just because it’s “time to eat.”
• eating just because it’s there.
• realizing that meals you get at restaurant are probably more than most of us should even eat in one meal. (Let the “doggie bag” become my friend.)
• not being so compulsive with my eating.
• drinking more water–and definitely LESS Cokes.
• eating late at night.
• continuing to keep my sugar intake down.

Then, of course, some other personal habits that have been my weight demise:

• too many hours at the computer at a time.
• not enough mobility.
• not exercising.
• not stretching.
• overworking.
• not getting enough sleep.

All of these things have contributed to the weight-gain lifestyle I have created for myself.  So, it’s time to make a change! And, with the help of HCG and the Dr. Simeon’s Protocol Diet, I am well on my way!!!   It’s a GREAT feeling!

Well, I’m so glad for last week to be over. It was such a stressful week and very difficult on so many levels. Seriously, at the risk of having someone e-mail and tell me that my brain cells are, in fact, dying, I have to tell you, with all the stress and events of the week, my mind took a real beating.

For instance, my 17 year-old came home from school at his regular time, mind you, and I tore into him for not going to tutoring after school. I went on and on about how I finally found someone who could help him and that he was just throwing the opportunity away, etc. He said, “Mom. I didn’t know I had tutoring today. You didn’t tell me.” Barely letting him get a word in past that, I interjected, “Well, you told me that you knew exactly when you had to go and didn’t need to be reminded. You have to be there every, single Monday right after school!!” His countance changed and he looked at me with such a bewildered look. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw my husband also look up from his computer and stop what he was doing, too. Then, my son says to me very lovingly, “Mom, it’s Friday, not Monday,” and puts his hand on my shoulder. Then, it was I who looked bewildered, I’m quite sure. I was so disoriented; it was ridiculous. I had lost several days and really was quite confused.

I realized then that I have been putting in 16+ hour days for several weeks already, and when an incident came up in our family, I had no reserves with which to handle it. I was spent…completely wiped out.

So, it wasn’t the 500 calories a day. It was a case where, again, I had sabotaged my own self.

I also realize how much my overeating and snacking and non-exercise was psychological. I’m sure that’s nothing new to you. But, this past week, my weight loss fluctuated like a bouncy ball… And, more importantly, I didn’t follow the Protocol. Truth is, I didn’t care about it. I didn’t care about my weight. I didn’t care about anything except for the emotional and mental whooping I was getting.

Listen, I truly believe this isn’t a battle of the bulge. This a battle of the brain! It really is! For me, I could’ve just sat there all week at my desk and escaping it all by eating and working.

I just didn’t care.

Sadly, I have to make up for some lost time this week, draw in the reins, and get control of my mind again.

This HCG stuff WORKS!!! The Protocol… It WORKS!!

Meanwhile,…back at the ranch…my fitness trainer friend posted that she has lost 6 lbs. since Friday!!! That’s amazing!! I have to admit. I’m not following everything exactly…exactly–but she is! She’s doing it by the book and to the “T”, and she is seeing amazing results!! I am ecstatic for her!!

Like I said before, I’m not going to sell this stuff. For me, it’s not “MISSION CRITICAL”–thank you, Craig Groeschel for those two powerful words!!!! But, I have a bunch of people asking me about the HCG Diet and how to get a hold of it. So, instead of e-mailing you all individually, I just asked my friend who I bought my HCG drops from if I could just continue sending them her way.

Her name is Laurel Pledger. She’s a friend of mine on FB (and off of FB, too. LOL). If you just send her a message via FB, she’ll have them to you in a jiffy! Please make sure to tell her where you found out about it, so she knows she’s not just being stalked.    The cost of the HCG drops is $30. + $5 shipping. She’ll get the HCG drops out to you right away. (Also, I want to add that I am taking the homeopathic HCG, not the medical grade. I believe that does make a difference in that mine are supposedly “weaker,” but I have seen great results, and others I have talked to have also seen great results!

I also asked my other friends, Clay–my HCG guru–and Tina Caldwell, if I could put their names and information in here, too for those of you wanting to order the injections. I don’t know the first thing about that at all. Clay is doing the Protocol to a “T” as well and as of yesterday, he has dropped 40 pounds!! He looks absolutely amazing!!! Both he and Tina are also friends of mine on FB. Just send them a message if you’d like to ask them about the injections or anything about the Protocol.  (And, yes, this is for men, too!)

Listen, if you don’t want to spend hundreds or thousands of $$$ at a clinic to get your HCG, this is a GREAT way to start. There is VERY LITTLE financial investment. What’s $35?! The majority of the investment is in your personal commitment to do it and stick through it until the end. But, it is well worth it!!!

So, here’s the deal!

• #1, order your Kevin Trudeau book from Amazon or pick it up from your local Half-priced Books store.

• #2 – Immediately order your drops. They should be in your mailbox in just a few days.

But. read the book or at least familiarize yourself with the Protocol and with what you can’t do FIRST…so you don’t waste the opportunity like I did.

Oh, and another thing. Clay told me that I’ve been constipated because I haven’t been drinking enough water and I’m dehydrated…which is probably quite accurate! So, we’ve got to drink that water!!! UGH…

Here’s to a better week…a stronger week…a mentally rejuvenating week…and the ability to shut the mill (my work) down when I should.

I’m ready to start peeing myself skinny again!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!

I am so excited, people!!! I jumped on the scale this morning and I weighed 112 lbs.!!!!! It has been over 5 years since I weighed 112 lbs.! I am elated!

Listen, I know there have been some who have messaged me and e-mailed me telling me to be careful because the doctors say it’s dangerous. When you read Dr. Simeon’s Transcript, it really explains a lot about what HCG is and why he says it is not dangerous. Let me just tell you right now… I am not a doctor or a nurse or any other kind of healthcare provider. I don’t have any kind of training at all in the medical field except being Dr. Mom over the past 17 years. That’s it. So, I can’t give you medical advice of ANY kind–neither would I try. If you have any hesitations at all or don’t feel comfortable doing the HCG Protocol without being under a doctor’s care, then BY ALL MEANS…GO!

(Of course, even if you don’t do the HCG, you can still change your eating habits and certainly choose better foods that would be healthier for you–and of course, you can exercise regularly.  (Yeah, I know. “Look who’s talking!!!?” I know. I’m working on it…  That’s sure like the pot calling the kettle black, right?!) Those are things your doctor are going to tell you to do anyways. Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable with.

But, for me, this is working. My brain is still fully-functional–although to my boys that would be questionable. Today is Day 13 and I’m down 8 lbs. That’s pretty doggone good! I sure wish my personal diet was better so I could eat more things (since I can’t eat veal or fish or any of the other “allowed” meats.). It would sure be nice to change things up a bit. But, I guess I’m ok.

I still have 12 lbs. to lose before I will be completely happy, so I’m thinking I may have to go the full 42 days on the Protocol. And, you know, that’s not too terribly bad. I really thought from the outset that I was going to be completely famished eating only 500 calories a day–when I probably ate more around 2500-3000 a day…with no exercise or frequent mobility during the day.   Yeah…that wasn’t good.  But, truthfully, some days,  I have to make myself eat. I’m just not really that hungry. And, when I do eat, it’s good to finish what is on my plate and not feel sick to my stomach full and bloated. That is a GREAT feeling! I love going to bed feeling thinner and LOVE waking up to a skinnier self, not feeling like I have to roll out of the bed like a walrus.  LOL

I just want to reiterate. This blog is not to discuss medical science or the secrets of losing weight. Good Lord, I’m still trying to figure that one out myself. Truth is, I don’t think there is a secret, only a solution. And, I have seen others who have done this and it worked wonders. So, for $35.00, which is half a meal when my husband and I take our boys out to dinner, I didn’t think I had anything to lose except for these nasty bulges. It was time to kick Cellulite Sally out of the house!!! “See ya!!”  This main purpose for my blog is (1.) to make myself accountable to others so I wouldn’t quit, and (2. ) simply to encourage others are walking in the same shoes as me.

In my opinion, I think I have found something that works…for me. If it’s not you, then you go find what is.